


Dream Demons Are Not Regular Demons

by FrontButts



Category: Gravity Falls, Supernatural
Genre: ? - Freeform, Canon Divergent, Crack, Crossover, Humor, Possession, indeterminate timeline for sam and dean, ish, post-season 2 but before any other episodes, who knows lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrontButts/pseuds/FrontButts
Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester respond to a call, seemingly like any other. But when they uncover a certain triangular asshole's doomsday plot, their quest to stop him brings them to a small town hiding somewhere in the woods...





	1. Refis, Iowa

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer- the majority of this was written nearly two years ago (in other words, when I was a sophomore in high school). Please keep that in mind and be gentle lol  
> Also- consider this canon divergent beginning from a little bit after A Tale of Two Stans but a little bit before Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons

"What the fuck is a 'dream demon' anyway?" Dean finally burst out after nearly four hours of driving. He seemed to be struggling with himself even as he said it, like he hated the fact that he would stoop so low as to use the term. "Seems like the kinda thing a sexually repressed housewife would read about. 'Dream demon.'" He spat the words again, and if looks of confusion could kill, the road would've melted straight out from under him. "Some kinky, dark desires type of shit. It's weird."

"Well it's definitely not accurate, if that's what you're saying," Sam conceded with a shrug. The idea didn't bother him nearly as much as it did his brother, and he leaned back in the passenger seat as he spoke. "Sounds like just a name the locals gave whatever spirit is tormenting them. They don't know any better word for it, so bam- the dream demon is born."

"It's stupid," Dean said, still glaring out over the highway. "I bet the town's just having mass hallucinations. They're definitely inbred enough for it."

Sam sighed. "Can you please reserve your judgements for after we've actually met some goddamned people? We haven't seen evidence of civilization in a hundred miles."

"Yeah, we have," Dean said. When Sam gave him a fearing-for-your-sanity look he grinned. "It's the Land of the fucking Corn People. Population: ten thousand."

"Well, I hope the Corn People have working bathrooms."

\---

They eventually did reach the town, well into the evening. The collection of Midwestern farmhouses and rundown gas stations trickled into view over the course of about twenty minutes, and it didn't take them long to find the single motel the quaint settlement of Refis, Iowa had to offer. Luckily for them, it had a complete vacancy.

"D'you really think it's a good idea to sleep in a town where people are getting attacked in their dreams?" Sam asked, staring up at the ceiling and trying to decide which water stain was his favorite.

"Why the hell not?" Dean shrugged. "If we meet the guy we can just deal with him right there. I'll never say no to a job I can do while I'm sleeping."

"Sure," Sam said. He heard Dean roll over and then the lights clicked off. In the dark he continued to look upwards, and a water stain with a vaguely triangular shape swam in his view. He squinted as the mark seemed to smoothen itself and then he frowned.

The mark opened its eye and stared at him.

Sam concluded that he must be dreaming and sat up, but as he moved, his surroundings changed. He was suddenly sitting in the middle of the empty town, and the world was entirely in grayscale. He looked around him and realized that there were no other people- anywhere. Not in the cars that sat on the side of the road, not in the shops or houses, and not on the sidewalks. He was alone.

"The flying fuck is this?"

Except for Dean, of course.

Sam stood up, feeling shaky and unsteady on his feet.

"Dean?" he called. "Where are you? What is this?"

"I'm here, wherever the hell 'here' is," Dean replied, and then suddenly he was standing next to Sam. "Are we having the same dream right now?"

"I think so," Sam said, gazing out at the ghost town. He noticed now that nothing was moving. There was no wind, no dust, and no leaves rustling or birds flying. Everything was still.

Dean made a face. "Gross," he said. “I mean, I know we’re brothers, and brothers are supposed to ‘bond’ or some shit, but this is just a little too-”

"Boy, I was wondering when you guys would show up!"

The voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. Sam and Dean looked around in confusion, trying at the same time to locate the source of the voice and to figure out what they might be able to use as a weapon.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean shouted into the gray sky. "Why do I have this weird psychic link with Sam? Is this real?"

"Of course it's real!" the voice still was undefinable, but it definitely was closer than before. "It's the mindscape! It's just as real as every other dimension or reality! It's just in your head, too!"

"The mindscape?" Sam frowned. "Never heard of that before. Guess it's like a dreamland?"

"Wait, you mean there's a universal...area where everyone dreams?" Dean said in a low voice. He seemed even more uncomfortable than before. "I don't really like the idea of sharing my dreams. There's some things a guy's gotta keep to himself."

"Your fundamental fear of intimacy aside, Dean, there's some really important stuff we have to discuss! So if you're ready to untwist your panties, and Sammy over there can finally pick his chiseled jaw up off the ground, we should get started!"

"Get started with what?" Dean was nearly livid at this point, and Sam noticed -with an inappropriate amount of amusement given the situation- that his brother was blushing. "What are you!?"

"Dean..." Sam nudged his brother and pointed at the sky, where it seemed that a small vortex was forming. As they watched, there was a flash of blinding light and the silhouette of a figure drifted down towards them. Then the light disappeared and they were able to see the "dream demon" clearly.

"Why the hell are you a triangle?" Dean asked.

"First of all, pottymouth, the name's Bill Cipher," the thing said. It floated above their heads with its hands folded behind its back, like a schoolteacher or a butler. "And I might say the same thing about you! I mean, that shoulder to hip ratio isn't exactly a rhombus, am I right?"

Dean's mouth opened and closed for a moment before he mustered up the only response he could think of.

"What?"

Sam ignored his flabbergasted brother (who had stormed off and was now shouting "can anyone hear us?" to the sky) and instead turned to the Cipher thing, even though making eye contact with it was deeply unsettling.

"What are you?" he asked. "And why are you terrorizing this town?"

"Terrorizing?" Cipher laughed. "Kid, relax! This is nothing! A few nightmares here and there, maybe one harmless possession of the mayor to deliver a prophecy of mass destruction? Come on! That's like saying breaking a window is vandalism!"

Sam frowned. "It is vandalism," he said.

"Who cares?" Cipher seemed to be enjoying itself immensely. "There's more important stuff we could be talking about. The truth is, pal, I only chose this town because I knew you and the angry one were in the area. Just a bit of showmanship to get your attention!"

"Well, we're here now," Sam said, folding his arms. "So what is it you want to say?"

"Before we can discuss that, I think your friend over there needs to chill out a bit." Cipher snapped its fingers and suddenly Dean found himself standing next to Sam again, his feet frozen to the ground. He sighed.

"Well, as long as we're here we might as well figure this whole shitshow out," Dean said, crossing his arms in a mirror of his brother.

"Glad to hear you're ready to participate!" Cipher said. It floated down to eye level with them and leaned back on thin air, waving one hand airily as he spoke. "So let's get right to it; we need to talk about the apocalypse."

"What?" Sam and Dean spoke simultaneously. After glaring at each other for a second Dean continued, "You know about the apocalypse?"

"Do I know about the apocalypse?" Cipher laughed as if this was the funniest thing it had heard in years. "Dean, I practically wrote the dictionary entry on apocalypses! D'you know what you'll see if you look up apocalypses in the dictionary?"

"Uh, a picture of you?" Dean asked.

"No! Nuclear warheads! And d'you know who invented nuclear warheads?"

"...Albert Einstein?" Sam frowned.

"Exactly!"

"...so what's your point?" Dean was getting frustrated again.

The "demon" didn't answer them at first. It merely stared with a slowly widening eye at the two brothers, who were beginning to feel uncomfortable and a bit violated.

"'A' point?" Cipher spoke suddenly, and Sam jumped. "Kid, I've got three of them!"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to tell us what you mean or not?" Sam said.

"Relaaaaax, Shiny Hair!" Bill Cipher didn't have a mouth, but Sam could imagine the smug look it might've had on its face if it did. "I didn't hang out with heavenly beings for a couple hundred years just to waste everything that they told me! Do I look like the kind of guy that keeps secrets?"

"Hold up," Dean said. "You know the angels?"

"Oh, now you're interested," Cipher chuckled. Dean became even more flustered and gaped wordlessly at it. "Yeah, I might've spent some time up there with the big guys. Sticks-in-the-mud, every one of 'em. Except that Gabriel guy. Man, me and him- we got into some trouble back in the day! Good times..."

Now it was Sam's turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, that's great, but what does it have to do with the apocalypse?"

"Yeah," Dean scoffed a little too loudly. "You being gay for some angel isn't really relevant to... whatever it is you're doing."

"You would know, Dean, wouldn't you?" Cipher said. When it paused and Sam and Dean just stared at it expectantly, it sighed. "You can't tell, but I'm winking. Never mind. Anyway! About this apocalypse!" Cipher rested a hand on its side as it stared down at its captive -literally- audience. "There may or may not be a gigantic latent evil force-"

"Evil force?" Dean interrupted. "What kind of evil force? How gigantic are we talking?"

Cipher narrowed its eye, glaring at Dean. Sam nudged Dean as he looked around; the town seemed to be rumbling and there was a low buzzing sound filling the dreamscape. Cipher's eye was suddenly tinged with red, and it bored into Dean until he blinked and looked away.

In an instant everything was back to normal.

"Interrupting is rude, Deanie! I wouldn't do it if I were you! You might miss something important!" Cipher wagged a finger at Dean, who looked murderous and embarrassed at the same time. "Anyway, as I was saying, there happens to be a latent evil living beneath a tiny town in northern Oregon that miiiiiight be about to awaken after a thousand years of dormancy! And I'm thinking- who best to confront and possibly defeat it than you hunks of pessimism and fighting prowess?"

"Okay," Sam said. "Let me get this straight- you're appearing to us to tell us to 'save the world?' No offense, but you don't really seem like the type to be invested in what happens to us."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, kid, this screaming ball of spacerock means about as much to me as yesterday's Italian sub! But really, the only people I could think of besides some choice individuals that're already on location that have at least a fighting chance against Armageddon are you guys! And I really could use the entertainment. Props to you!" Cipher clapped its hands together and a spurt of confetti shot out of thin air and rained down on Sam and Dean with a pop. Dean spit a streamer out of his mouth.

"Thanks...I guess," said Sam. "So what's this town called? How do we get there?"

"Town's called 'Gravity Falls,'" said Cipher. It leaned forwards and an image of the town appeared on its front surface. "And I'd expect you take route fifty-seven like any other normal human going there. You'll know it when you see it. It's like a little drop of anomaly hot sauce on the boring tortilla of humanity."

Dean snorted. "Gravity Falls? Someone there has a sense of irony."

"Ohhhhh you have no idea," Cipher laughed. "I think you'll like it, actually. It's a pretty neat place, especially for a bunch of nerds like you! Anyway, I've gotta run. It's almost dawn, and I really wouldn't want to be caught here after you guys wake up. It gets a little weird in your subconsciouses during the day. Especially you, Deanie." When Dean cursed under his breath Cipher just chuckled. "You can't tell, but I'm winking again. See ya in a week- that is, if you want to meet again while this world still exists. Byyeee!"

Dean sat up with a jolt in his motel bed with an inadvertent growl of anger. When he glanced to his right, he met Sam's equally confused and vaguely annoyed gaze.

"Just to be clear," Dean frowned and gestured to his head. "That...all happened, right?"

"Yeah," Sam said. He had fallen asleep in his clothes on top of the sheets, and so had Dean. He had the distinct feeling that neither of them would feel well rested that day. "Unfortunately."


	2. Gravity Falls

Sam and Dean left the next day for Gravity Falls, Oregon, in a state of confused purpose. They both didn't want to acknowledge the obvious- that the entire trip seemed unbearably stupid. Just when the flat plains gave way to wooded hills, the conversation finally turned back to Bill Cipher and his "latent evil" because "Asleep" by the Smiths came on the radio.

"Okay, how do we know this guy is legit?" Dean said as the song began. "Maybe we had the same dream- so what? Why does that make him so all-powerful? Maybe this is just some kind of prank or wild goose chase- and I really don't want to deal with that shit."

"Look, Dean," Sam sighed. "I dunno any more than you whether Cipher knew what he was talking about. But think about it this way- have we ever had anything like that- like linking our subconsciouses- happen before?"

"Yes."

"Really?" Sam asked. "When?

"Well- well I can't remember it now, but it definitely happened!" Dean had so much conviction in his voice that Sam decided to leave the matter alone.

"Either way, this seemed different," Sam said. "I don't know, it just- I don't want to risk it."

"I didn't like that triangle- thing- person's vibe," said Dean, glancing out the window as if Cipher might be listening nearby. "He knew too much. Weirded me out."

"You just don't like that he's got a good scope of you," Sam smirked. "'A fundamental fear of intimacy' sounds about right to me."

"Maybe it is, maybe not," Dean said. "I don't really see why it matters, personally."

"I think the fact that he's bothering you this much proves that he knows what he's talking about," Sam retorted.

Dean didn't speak to Sam for the rest of the day, and the radio was raised to a deafening rate.

\---

Bill Cipher didn't appear in either brother's sleep during the four-day trip up to the Pacific Northwest, but there were constant clues in their dreams that though it wasn't there, it was still watching them. Whether it was a pack of one-eyed moose that trampled through Sam's nightmares or a top hat and bow tie hung up in Dean's closet one night, Cipher made sure that they both knew it wouldn't let them bail on this trip. Dean still grumbled vague things about "bullshit" and "triangle conspiracies" but after a particularly vivid dream in which an army of Castiels chased him shouting "intimacy" over and over, he decided that going to Gravity Falls was absolutely necessary.

They arrived in Gravity Falls at the beginning of August on a rainy morning, keeping in mind what Cipher had said about there being others "on location." They drove slowly through the main center of the town, trying to spot through good old detective work someone who might be waiting for them or who had, in Dean's words, that "been-through-hell-but-still-has-a-sense-of-humor-about-it" vibe.

This tactic was not very successful.

Their first night in the town, Sam and Dean both slept fitfully, and had the vague impression that Cipher was unhappy with them for not finding their supposed counterparts that day. They each heard a nagging voice in their dreams, and the image of a pine tree silhouetted against their minds appeared with the message, "This is it! Go find it! This is getting to be a snoozefest!"

As they were wandering the streets the next morning, debating where and when to go to breakfast, they found what they were looking for. Dean, deeply engrossed in arguing the merits of bacon over store-bought off-brand cereal, suddenly felt a blow to his midriff and looked down to see that he had knocked over a young boy as he walked.

"Shit- sorry about that," Dean held out a hand to the boy to help him up. "You hurt?"

"Nah, I'm okay," the boy said, cramming his trucker hat back onto his head. When Dean saw the symbol on the front of the hat, he elbowed Sam in the ribs, hard.

"Excuse us for a moment," Dean said, pulling Sam aside. "Don't move." The kid seemed confused, but stayed where he was.

"Did you see it?" Dean hissed as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Of course I saw it," Sam replied, massaging his side. "You really think that's him? He's just a kid."

"Well it ain't gonna be anyone else, and we're running out of time," Dean said, turning back to the boy, who stood waiting with his hands in his pockets. "Hey," he continued. "I'm Dean. This is my brother Sam."

"Ummm...nice to meet you." The kid looked a bit put off. "I'm Dipper."

Dean smothered his laugh behind his hand. Glancing at him, Sam took over the conversation.

"We're looking for someone," he said. "And we were told the person we're looking for would have this symbol." He pointed at the pine tree adorning Dipper's hat. After a moment's consideration he decided that it couldn't hurt too much to be honest with a twelve-year-old. "It's about stopping the apocalypse."

Dipper's eyes grew wide. "The apocalypse? I know all about the apocalypse! I've been reading the warning signs in the journal for months!"

Sam frowned. "The journal? Bill didn't say anything about a journal..."

If it was possible, Dipper's eyes widened even more. "Bill sent you?" he whispered, glancing around. "Why? What did he say? Who are you guys anyway?"

"Look...Dipper...is there any place safer where we can go to talk about this?" Dean interjected, leaning in close. "That one-eyed lady over there is giving me a weird look."

"Sure," Dipper nodded. "I'll take you back to the Mystery Shack. We can talk there."

"The Mystery Shack?" Dean muttered to himself as he and Sam followed Dipper to the outskirts of town. "Dipper? Gravity Falls? What is this, Disneyland?"

"Quiet," Sam said in an equally low voice. "If the kid has parents, we wanna seem like the kind of guys that adults would let into their house."

"Well, here we are," Dipper said after about a fifteen minute walk through the woods. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack!"

Dean nudged Sam. "Hey," he whispered. "This is kinda like that one time that we went to that weird place where I kept dying. Remember?"

"Yeah, let's not think about that one time," said Sam, pulling ahead to walk with Dipper.

"So, kid," he said to Dipper as they walked into the shack. "You live here with your parents?"

"Nah, my sister and me are just here for the summer," Dipper said. "We're staying with our great uncle Stan. Oh, and our other great uncle Ford. You might wanna talk to him. He just spent thirty years in another dimension. He knows all about the apocalypse!"

"Fun," Sam replied as he looked around at all the hoax devices and poorly taxidermied specimens lining the walls. Behind him he heard Dean mutter, with an obvious glance at Dipper "What the fu...I mean, uh, heck is this?"

"Great Uncle Ford's working in the basement right now, but we can talk in the living room. Grunkle Stan went into town to buy more batteries for the Magic Time Warper and my sister Mabel went to the movies with her friends," Dipper continued, showing them into a cramped room with several overstuffed couches. "So we won't be bothered or anything."

"Great, great," Dean glanced warily around the room as he entered, and took the seat directly in front of the television. Dipper took the other seat, and Sam found himself in a long-legged heap on the floor. To his very great surprise a goat entered the room and began sniffing his hair.

"Uhhh...Dipper..." Dean looked vaguely nauseated by the newest addition to the group. "Is this a zoo on top of being a fraud shop?"

"Oh," Dipper flushed and chased the goat away. "Sorry about that. He's Mabel's. So," He settled back down into the chair and looked between Sam and Dean excitedly. "What do you guys even do? How'd you end up here?"

"Well, we investigate and hunt paranormal...things. All over the country," Sam said. "And the other week we heard about a town being terrorized by some kind of 'dream demon...'"

Twenty minutes later Dipper was fully up to date on how Sam and Dean ended up on his doorstep, and he seemed to be going through some kind of shock.

"Wow! So you guys just travel around and fight monsters and stuff? I mean- that's just- wow!" He leapt up off of his chair and paced back and forth. "And Bill told you about some kind of 'latent evil?' And he told you to find me? Oh my god. Ohhhh my god. You guys are living the dream!"

"Sure," Dean leaned back in his seat heavily. "And here we are. All together to save the world or some shi- or something."

"Yeah, I guess!" Dipper said excitedly. "Oh man, just wait until Great Uncle Ford hears about this! Oh! Can I get you guys anything? You hungry? Thirsty?"

"We're fine, thanks," said Sam.

"Well, uh, a little cereal would be nice maybe," said Dean, ignoring Sam's pointed glance.

"Cereal! Got it! Coming right up!" Dipper rushed to the door but in that moment a heavyset man in a suit followed by a tiny girl in a sweater blocked his exit.

"Hey Dipper!" the man said. "Hey...whoever you guys are."

"Sam," Sam raised a hand in greeting.

"And I'm Dean," Dean added from the couch.

"Well, uh, Dean, you're uh...you're in my chair," the man pointed awkwardly.

"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper said, hurrying over to the man and pulling on his arm. "These guys are here because they got a message about the end of the world!"

"Really?" Stan glanced at the two brothers, giving an extra long stare to Dean, who was refusing to take the hint and stand up. Finally he gave up and just leaned on the arm. "Well, it may be the end of the world, but at least it's the beginning of Dipper's social life! Ha! Am I right? Anyone?"

Dean grinned. "That's not funny, Grunkle Stan."

Stan sighed. "Aaaaaaand I'm out. C'mon Mabel, I need to patch up the burnt part of the roof again."

Even though Stan left the room, the girl, Mabel, stayed behind, fixed in the doorway. She seemed either incredibly frightened or under some kind of trance.

"Uh, Mabel?" Dipper walked over to his sister and waved his hand in front of her face. "This is Sam and Dean and they say that they have some info about the apocalypse Bill was talking about...um..." Mabel didn't respond. "So, uh," Dipper said awkwardly. "D'you know where Ford is, or anything..?"

Mabel's mouth moved, but neither Sam nor Dean could hear what she said.

"What?" Dipper shook her shoulder gently. "What did you say?"

"I said, 'he's beautiful,'" Mabel whispered. Then her face split in a gigantic grin and she raced across the room to plant herself in Dean's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Look at you!" she shouted. "This hair! And oh, these cheekbones! And the eyes, gosh!" Mabel leaned in close until her forehead was nearly touching Dean's. Dean looked as if he might either vomit or scream. "You're perfect." Then she turned to her brother. "Why aren't all monster nerds this beautiful?"

"Mabel!" Dipper cried, his face bright red. "If you aren't going to help then get out!"

"Ugh, fine!" Mabel slipped out of Dean's chair and sat cross-legged on the floor with Sam. "Besides, he seems like way too much of a lone wolf to settle down with anyone."

Across Mabel's head, Sam mouthed "lone wolf?" Dean just snorted and stared at the floor.

"Okay," Dipper said. "Let me tell you about what I've found out." He pulled out a massive book from inside his jacket and opened it to a dog-eared page towards the end. "This is a journal that was written by my Great Uncle Ford documenting the mysteries of Gravity Falls. I've been adding to it myself," he added with a little grin of pride. "Recently I've been putting some pieces together and I realized that all the signs point to the end of the world being sometime this summer."

"This summer?" Mabel cried. "How can I go to prom and get married if everyone dies this summer? Do you know how hard it is to find a prom date in a post-apocalyptic wasteland?"

"Mabel," Dipper silenced his sister and turned back to Sam and Dean, both of whom were regretting this more with every passing minute. "Anyway, based on my research and what Bill told you guys about the evil force beneath the town, I think that we should probably try to find wherever this thing is sleeping so that we can figure out what it is and shut it down!" Dipper slammed the book decisively shut and hopped off the couch.

"Yay!" Mabel shouted, leaping to her feet. "Mystery Twins going from saving the shack to saving the world! Woohoo!"

Dean glanced over the twin's heads at Sam with a "this is your fault" look before standing up. Sam mirrored him.

"So?" Dipper looked up at Sam expectantly. "You're the professionals. Where should we start?"

Sam sighed. "Yep," he said. "We're the professionals. Dean?" He beseeched his brother, silently begging him not to give up on this yet. He wasn't sure if he could take another one of Bill's dream reminders. "What d'you think?"

Dean frowned, then shrugged. "I think we should start with breakfast. No point in hunting an apocalyptic force of sleeping evil on an empty stomach."


	3. The Mindscape

"Hey there, Deanman! How've you been? Having fun in Gravity Falls?"

"Cipher!" Dean roared, whipping around in a circle and glaring up at his dreamscape sky. He was in the middle of the forest, and he could just barely see beyond the canopy of the trees to the charcoal-colored clouds. "Where are you, you geometric sonuvabitch?"

"Relax, pal!" Suddenly Cipher was behind him, leaning back on its arms and drifting upside down. "Why does the prettiest Winchester need to be the most anal? Well, you win some, you lose some, I guess. Anyway, did ya meet up with Pine Tree? How'd it go?" The "demon" took Dean's silence as a response and continued. "Yeah, he can be a lot to take in, but that's why he's so much fun! The kid could solve world hunger if he was sleep deprived enough!"

"That's great," snapped Dean. "But there are three things wrong with this whole situation: one, I'm tired and I wanna have a normal dream for once. Two, those kids are a joke- a really bad one. And three, you, my friend, are annoying as hell."

"Well, kid, I can't really do much about the third one or the first one, but lemme tell you- Dipper and Mabel really know their stuff!" Cipher swiveled around to face Dean and folded its arms knowingly. "That latent evil I told you about is gonna hear its alarm clock any day now! And believe me- you're gonna need their help when it does!" Suddenly the ground around them shuddered and cracked, and Bill chuckled. "There it is now, see?"

Dean folded his arms. "Yeah?" he didn't bother trying to keep the skepticism out of his voice. "You may be okay with putting some random twelve-year-olds in danger, but I've seen some apocalypses in my day, buddy, and it ain't pretty. I won't participate in your crazy-ass doomsday thing if there's kids involved."

"Fair enough!" Cipher shrugged. "I won't make you hang around any longer than you want to!"

"Thank you," Dean said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"But don't think for a minute that Dipper and Mabel won't stick with what I tell them!" Cipher's voice was full of a smug triumph, like a car salesman who'd just completed a scam. An image appeared in the air of the Pines twins, still up in their rooms, poring over the journal together. "Even if you and Sammy skip town, they won't stop 'til they've found what they're looking for and done everything they can to stop it! Even if it ends badly..." The phantom image of Dipper and Mabel was suddenly engulfed in flames. "So, kid, it's your choice! I'm not gonna make you stick around, but it sure doesn't seem like your style to leave two little meatsacks to their own devices!"

"So what?" Dean said, annoyed that Cipher yet again had read his character so accurately. "Sam and me and the kids are just gonna run around Gravity Falls until we find some giant Armageddon monster?"

"Weeelllll," Cipher narrowed its eye at Dean, its hands pressed together pensively. "I might be able to speed things up a bit, if you'd let me."

"Are you saying you know where this thing is?" Dean asked.

"Maybe, maybe not," the "demon" said. "If you're willing, we could strike a deal: I pilot this operation for a bit, show you where the end of the world is at, and you do something for me?"

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Dean held up his hands. "You're asking the wrong guy for favors. I'm not exactly up for losing my soul and crap. That's some shit I've seen too much of."

"Oh, don't worry, I know!" Cipher said. "All I need in return is the chance to borrow your most prized possession and, should I say...drive it around for a bit? I mean, it's not like he-"

"The car?" Dean was beyond puzzled now.

"Yeah, sure, the car!" said Cipher, holding out its hand. "I just can't help myself around shiny things, ya know? I'm like a magpie, except infinitely more powerful!"

"Sure, sure," Dean said quickly. "Can we get this over with? I always wake up with a hangover after your dreams."

"At least it's better than what you wake up with after those other dreams!" Cipher laughed. "Now come on, if you want to wake up before Dipper starts staring at you!" Its hand was still hanging expectantly in the air. With a deep breath Dean took it and shook firmly. The world around them disappeared, and Dean shouted as he began to freefall through the dark.

"You really shouldn't interrupt, Deanie.." Cipher's voice hung in the air around him, louder than ever. "You might miss something...or someone... See ya tomorrow morning!"

Dean woke up with a gasp and looked around. The living room was still dark, and when he glanced to his right, Sam was still sprawled out on the other couch, snoring. As he watched, his brother shifted in his sleep and muttered something. Dean sighed. He decided he wasn't going to tell Sam about his deal with Bill. He really didn't need the scolding. He would just have to make some excuse about where the Impala had gone for the next few days.

Dean heard the door creak open and light spilled into the room. He whipped around, ready to fight.

Dipper screamed, then covered his mouth.

"Dipper?" Dean hissed. "What the- what are you doing?"

"Ummmm," Dipper tugged at the neck of his pajamas and laughed nervously. "Just... checking up on you guys! Yep...not staring...so, um- sweet dreams I guess!" He backed out of the doorway and shut the door quickly. Dean could hear his footsteps hurrying down the hall and upstairs.

Dean sighed. "I can't decide who's worse," he muttered to himself. "The nerd or the chick." When he realized that there was a bejeweled, heart-shaped alarm clock on the floor next to him he rolled his eyes. "Definitely the chick."


	4. The Mystery Shack

Dean woke up the next morning with a serious headache. He rolled over with a groan to find Dipper already standing in the doorway yet again.

"Jesus," he hissed before catching himself. "You scared me, kid."

"Oh- sorry," said Dipper. He ran his fingers through his hair awkwardly. "Um, we're ready to go as soon as your brother wakes up."

"Alrighty, then," Dean replied, getting up and tossing the blanket he had used to the side. He walked over to the door, where he had hung up his coat and slung it over his shoulder. "Thanks for letting us use your living room, by the way. It's nicer than staying in town."

"No problem," said Dipper. He seemed somehow breathless. "Anything for you guys. I'm just glad to have real-life paranormal investigators here! With me! I mean, it's just crazy!"

Dean laughed uncomfortably. "Thanks," he said. He glanced over at Sam's sleeping form. "Listen, why don't you get your sister and those books of yours? We'll meet you outside."

"Got it," Dipper replied, giving Dean a little wave before leaving.

Dean let out a low whistle and sighed. He was beginning to wonder whether being in the business of the paranormal was worth it, considering the amount of fans they encountered who had little to no regard for personal space. At least when people thought they were crazy or hated them, they could keep their distance. He almost hoped that Dipper would get in too deep and get freaked out, just so that he and his entirely-too-admiring sister would bail. At least, he thought, Sam had to deal with the crazies just as much as he did.

"Hey," Dean walked over to his brother and shook his shoulder. "Sam. Sammy. Get up. We're going monster-hunting with the weirdos today." When Sam didn't respond he shook him harder. "Come on, they'll be here any minute."

Sam rolled over so he was facing Dean, his eyes still shut. He muttered something, and then his face stretched into a grin. A too-wide, definitely-not-asleep grin. Dean frowned and took a step back.

"Sam, what're you doing..."

Still smiling, Sam sat up on the couch, his eyes shut and his head down. A quiet laugh escaped him and Dean automatically moved his hand towards the pocket where his gun was concealed. Then he realized that he recognized the owner of the laugh.

"Son of a-"

"Yeah, I was wondering when you'd notice something was up, pretty boy!" It was Sam's mouth that was moving, but the voice was unmistakably Bill Cipher's. Cipher stood up and cracked Sam's neck to one side, still grinning. "I guess you need to reevaluate what your most prized possession is!"

"Goddammit you crazy fuck, give Sam his body back!" Dean was on the verge of whipping out his gun when Dipper burst into the room.

"What's going on?" Dipper shouted, his eyes traveling from Dean's raised gun to the person he thought was Sam, who seemed beside himself with laughter.

"Wow, it's been a while since I was threatened with a gun! I forgot how great it feels!" Sam's head lolled on his neck as Bill turned to face Dipper. "Professional or not, Pine Tree, these guys aren't as smart as they first seem!"

Dipper looked back at Dean, and the expression on his face was so fed up that Dean almost felt cowed. "You made a deal with Bill? Really? Even Mabel could've told you not to trust him!"

"W-well he was very persuasive and I was really tired!" Dean retorted.

Dipper pushed past Dean and stared up at Bill. "Why do you want Sam's body anyway? How is that supposed to help destroy the latent evil?"

Bill laughed using Sam's mouth, and Dean noticed that each of his eyes were blinking independently. He smothered a gag. "Ha! You really still think there's some kind of apocalypse lurking under this town? I made that up! I can't believe you guys actually believed it!"

"What?" Dean grabbed Cipher by the front of Sam's shirt and slammed him against the bookcase next to them. "You mean we came here for no goddamn reason?"

"Of course you're here for a reason!" Cipher scoffed. When he continued, he was looking directly at Dipper. "Last time I used your pathetic little noodle vessel, I got beaten by a twelve-year-old! It made me realize that I can't afford to have a weak body in this realm! And what better body to use than a six-foot-six mooseman? Sammy has no weaknesses, so I have no weaknesses!"

Dean punched Bill square in Sam's nose.

"Dean, no!" Dipper shouted. "That's Sam's body you're damaging!"

"You think I don't know that?" Dean said. "Like Cipher said, Sam's a tough guy. He can take it until we get him his body back."

"Hey guys I made us all breakfast and thermoses of Mabel Juice for the road and I-whaaaaaaa," The three of them turned to see Mabel standing in the entrance to the living room, her eyes wide. "What on earth is going on in here?! Why is my future husband beating up my other future husband?"

"Hey there Mabel!" Cipher called. "Long time no see!"

"Bill!" Mabel cried. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Why can't you just be happy with your own body?"

Bill shrugged. "Is anyone ever truly happy? I needed an upgrade from your brother! Have you ever been in Dipper's body? You're just tired all the time and your feet smell! I mean, come on, it's not exactly five-star accommodations!"

"Hey, don't you talk that way about my bro!" Mabel shouted. "His feet only smell a little bit!"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Is this really the most pressing issue right now?" he asked furiously, glaring at Cipher. "Get the hell out of Sam," he growled. "Now!"

"Sorry buddy, it doesn't work like that! Since you gave me permission to use Sammy I have control over him until I decide to leave! And I'm thinking this might be a permanent fixture!" Bill twisted out from under Dean's grasp and backed away, smirking. Dean raised his fist again, but Dipper grabbed his arm.

"Stop it!" he said, hanging on even though Dean lifted him off the ground in an effort to shake him. "Don't make him mad! You'll just give him a reason to hurt Sam's body."

Dean rounded on Dipper. "You and this crazy-ass town got us into this. I'm not going anywhere until you figure this out and get that- that thing to leave Sam alone."

"Fine," Dipper said, letting go of Dean. "But we're going to talk to Great Uncle Ford about this. He might know what to do."

"Uhhh, guys?" Mabel tugged on Dipper's sleeve, pointing out the door. "Bill just decided to take a walk."

Glancing around them, Dipper and Dean could see that Bill had indeed left the room, and they could hear thumps and rattling down the hallway towards the main storefront.

"Sonuvabitch," Dean muttered. "C'mon, let's go." Lowering his voice so the twins couldn't hear him he added, "My life's in the hands of prepubescents. Great."

Dean and the Pines twins hurried down the hallway, following the sounds of Cipher bumbling around in Sam's body. They heard another crash and then the "demon's" hysterical laughter.

"Whoops! Wow, this thing's a little tough to get used to! It's bigger than I expected! Like driving a semi instead of a minicooper! Ha!" More rattling. Then, "I guess Stanley's gonna have to get used to this new window!"

"He's going outside!" Dipper said, struggling to match pace with Dean. The three of them hurried out onto the porch just as the door swung shut and they saw Sam's sizable figure shambling away.

"Where's he going?" Mabel asked. "It's not like he can get very far without anyone to drive him..."

"You'd be surprised how fast Sam can move when he has a reason to," said Dean. He raised his gun and prepared to go after Cipher when Dipper threw out a hand.

"Wait!" he said. Dean turned to him with narrowed eyes.

"Wait?" he asked in a deadly voice. "Listen, pipsqueak, that's my brother who's wandering who knows where, and if we just sit around here Bill might do major damage to Sam or someone else! So if you expect me to-"

"No, you listen," Dipper's voice was a bit shaky at the look on Dean's face, but he remained calm. "We're going to talk to Great Uncle Ford about this before we do anything crazy. And I've been possessed by Bill before; I know what it's like, trust me. We need to figure this out."

"Yeah," said Mabel. "If you wanna go after Bill you're gonna have to go through us!"

"Fine," Dean growled after a moment. "But only because I'm not gonna beat up twelve-year-olds." Reluctantly he followed the twins back to the house, constantly glancing back over his shoulder to see if he could catch a glimpse of Sam's distinctive form.

"We need to figure out what Bill's master plan is," Dipper was saying. "If we figure out what he wants we'll be able to stop him a lot more easily than if we just follow him randomly around town."

Dean shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed. "Alright, then, genius," he muttered. "How're we gonna figure out Cipher's plan? He doesn't exactly seem like the easiest guy to get a read on."

"We're gonna talk to Great Uncle Ford!" said Mabel. She was trying to sound like her usual, inappropriately chipper self, but even Dean could tell that her shining outlook was cracking a bit.

"Who is this 'Ford' guy anyway?" Dean asked Dipper as they reluctantly turned back to the house. He wondered where Dipper was taking him, and hoped it wasn't some kind of trap. He was starting to mistrust everything to do with Gravity Falls, and the twins were no exception.

"He's our great uncle," said Dipper. "He was trapped in a portal for thirty years, but we just got him back out! He used to be a paranormal investigator, just like you guys!"

"Look, kid, that's not exactly what we do-"

"He knows so much about everything that's been going on this summer, and I bet he can help figure out how to save Sam!" Dipper's excitement was growing, and Dean decided it was pointless to try and talk over him. "I mean, he's practically the leading expert on this stuff!"

"Really," muttered Dean to himself. With Sam -or at least his body- currently off somewhere in the Pacific Northwest Temperate Forest, he was making a lot of his comments to an empty audience as of late. "Somehow I feel like this guy isn't gonna be everything he's cracked up to be."

"Great Uncle Ford?" Dipper was calling, poking around underneath the house. "Are you down there?" Dean decided not to question it.

"Dipper?" an elderly voice responded from the porch. "What do you need?"

"Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper hurried over to his uncle and turned back to Dean. "This is Dean Winchester. He hunts paranormal stuff all over the country with his brother Sam. Dean, this is my great uncle Stanford Pines."

Dean raised a hand in greeting. "Nice to meet you," he said, taking in the man's grizzled appearance and deciding that he seemed far more trustworthy than either of the kids.

"You too," Stanford said with a gruff nod. Then he turned back to Dipper. "Dipper, what's this all about? Why are they here?"

"Well," Dipper seemed hesitant to continue the narrative. "At first they were here to stop the apocalypse, but then Dean accidentally made a deal with Bill Cipher-"

Stanford's eyes widened. "Cipher?" he hissed at Dean. "You made a deal with Cipher? Dipper, I really don't think we should trust-"

"Please, Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper said, and Dean acknowledged with grudging admiration that Dipper was trying to vouch for him. "He needs your help. All of us need your help. Bill tricked him."

Stanford snorted. "And that would be the first time that Cipher tricked anyone, now wouldn't it?" he sighed. "What kind of deal did he offer?"

All eyes turned to Dean.

"He offered us- me- some help with the whole end-of-the-world thing," he said. "In exchange for borrowing my most valued possession." Dean found that he couldn't quite look any of the Pineses in the eye. "For the record, I had no idea that my most valuable possession was my brother."

Stanford sighed again, and Dean felt thoroughly judged. "We might as well go down to the lab," Stanford said. "There's a lot we need to talk about."


	5. The Woods

Sam knew his brother couldn't hear him. He had enough experience with ghosts and spirits and other dimensions and the like to know that it was pointless to even try. He trusted Dean- and to a lesser extent the Pines twins- to figure out a way to restore him to his body, and all he could do was sit back and wait. The routine seemed almost depressingly normal to him. What surprised him, however- though only for a moment- was that Cipher could see him, and (this wasn't surprising at all) took great amusement in talking to him.

"Hey there, Sammy!" Cipher said through Sam's mouth as he was making his way in the direction of the town, with Sam's disembodied form struggling to keep up. "How d'you like the new look? Think it suits me? It suits me, doesn't it?"

Sam didn't say anything. Cipher chuckled, and Sam grimaced; he'd never seen his own mouth open that wide.

"With a brother that stupid, you practically deserve to be stuck in the mindscape! You really need better company." Bill was clearly enjoying himself, and the grin on Sam's face was proof. "And in the friend department, this is about as far as you're gonna get, buddy."

"What do you want with my body, Bill?" Sam asked tiredly. Cipher stopped fully at this and turned, putting Sam's hands on his hips.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" he said, winking. "No choice but to wait and see, I guess. It's too bad your pals won't be around to see what I have planned! Looks like they ran off to save themselves! Lucky them that they have legs to run with, am I right?" Cipher waved Sam's hand airily. "I know, I know, that was a bit harsh. But hey, as you obviously know, so is your weirdly drawn-out existence!"

Sam glared at the strange facsimile of himself. "What are you going to do, Bill?" he said again, his voice rising. "First you say that there isn't even an apocalypse, and then you trick Dean into giving you permission to enter my body? I didn't even know Dean had that right!"

"I didn't either!" Cipher shrugged. "Lucky break, I guess."

"Tell me your big master plan," Sam snapped, using air quotes around the words "master plan." "What's so important that you needed my body specifically for it?"

"Oh, nothing," said Bill, beginning to walk again. "Just something that might cause a bit of wear and tear, if you get my drift."

Sam didn't give Cipher the satisfaction of pursuing the matter further. He just folded his arms and stared down at the "demon" in his body, silently praying that Dean and the others were figuring something out. He knew Cipher was lying about them abandoning him; he knew Dean too well to buy into such petty manipulation.

"Still think they're comin' for you, huh?" Bill cut into Sam's thoughts with an eerie precision. "Yeah, that's what they always think."

"'Always?'" Sam asked in spite of himself. "What do you mean, 'always?' You've done this before?"

"Kid, I've been around the block a couple thousand times," said Cipher. "You think this is my first possession rodeo? Please! This is just my chance to get back into the swing of things!" He turned around to look at Sam as he walked, so that he was facing backwards. Branches whacked against Sam's head and scratched at his arms, but Cipher paid them no mind. Sam winced.

"This is great!" Bill laughed as another twig grazed Sam's cheek, drawing blood. "Hurts even less in this body than it did in Pine Tree's boring flesh puppet! Whoops!" Bill tripped backwards over an outcropping of rock and fell hard on his back, his laughter intensifying. "Now that was painful!"

Sam sighed, knowing that now if he got his body back, he would have to deal with the massive bruise that that fall would've inevitably caused. But he pushed aside those thoughts for the more pressing matter.

"You said you've inhabited bodies before this," he said. "What do you mean? What do you do with them?"

"Look, Sammy, let's just say that even if the whole 'latent evil' thing was a bust, there's still some happenings in this town that I wanna get in on! And it's a lot easier for me to hang around if I exist on the physical plane- especially in a tank like this!" For what seemed like the millionth time, Bill raised Sam's arms and looked at himself- or rather, looked at Sam. "Even I still can't believe I scored this big!"

"Yeah, I get it, you like inhabiting my body," Sam said, his annoyance mounting. The fact that he couldn't actually touch anything or do anything to vent his anger just frustrated him more. "I think you've made that pretty clear. So can you please just tell me what the hell is going on in this town?"

Cipher shrugged.

"I gotta hand it to you, Samuel, you're pretty persistent. It's impressive, and that's saying a lot coming from someone who hangs out with Pine Tree as much as I do," he said. "All right, why not? What're you gonna do to stop me?" Sam ignored this comment. Cipher smirked, coming to a standstill again.

“Here's the deal," Bill folded Sam's arms, and for once he had an almost sincere expression. "Not everyone in this town is a backwoods moron. And I've got a way to get at the one blathering flesh monster who might be able to stop me…”

\---

With a growing sense of incredulity that was getting old fast, Dean followed Stanford Pines and the twins down a winding set of stairs that ran underneath the Mystery Shack. Dipper hurried ahead to keep up with Ford, still filling him in on the details of their encounter up to that point. Mabel, on the other hand, lingered with Dean, who was trying not to think of whatever was happening to Sam at that moment by staring at Ford's fingers.

"Freaky, right?" Mabel whispered, falling into step with Dean. "Do you think he can play the piano better? I've never asked him."

"Dunno," said Dean. "He doesn't seem like the musical type, y'know?"

"Do you like music?" asked Mabel, her eyes growing wide.

Dean shoved his hands into his pockets and forced himself to shake his head for the sake of his dignity. "Nope," he said. "Not really."

"You totally like music," Mabel said, smirking at him knowingly. "It fits your mystique."

This threw Dean for a loop. "My 'mystique,'" he repeated, nonplussed.

"Yeaaahh," said Mabel. Dean noticed that her hand was straying dangerously close to his. "You know, your aura. Your lone wolf spirit."

"Will you stop with the 'lone wolf' sh- stuff?" Dean snatched his hand back. Mabel was unfazed.

"No one can resist the Mabel Method," she whispered, skipping down the last few steps. At the bottom was an open door, with cold blue light spilling out and illuminating Mabel's grin. "You'll see!" She blew Dean a kiss and then left him alone on the stairs. Dean sighed and, after taking a moment to recover from that conversation, followed her.

The room that Dean entered seemed to be something out of a science fiction movie: knobs, levers, and wires formed a tangle of complex beeping and whirring, and there seemed to be an infinite amount of contraptions and hidden doors whose meanings escaped him. He let out a low whistle and heard a chuckle in response.

"You like this stuff?" The gruff voice of Ford Pines was coming from behind him, and he turned around to see him sitting on an old leather rolling chair, with Dipper seated next to him on the dashboard.

"It's an impressive collection you've got," Dean said. Ford nodded.

"It's a little outdated, but it does the job." Suddenly his expression turned serious- almost intimidatingly so. "But we shouldn't really be talking about my lab. What do you know about Cipher?"

Dean shrugged. "Not much. I know he's not a demon, for one thing. Got that wrong in that book of yours." Dipper flushed. Ford chose to ignore the comment. "Other than that," Dean continued. "Not much. Oh, and he can possess people, apparently. So, there's that."

Ford sighed heavily. "There's more than that. Much, much, more than that. He's one of the most dangerous creatures out there, if you make him your enemy." He pulled aside his collar to reveal a deep scar across his collarbone. Dean whistled in appreciation of the injury.

"He doesn't seem like the type of guy to piss off, yeah," he said.

"Back when I was performing my experiments in this town, years ago, I was unlucky enough to cross paths with Cipher," said Ford, leaning back. Dipper opened his mouth, looking incredulous, but Ford silenced him with a wave of his hand. "Ever since then, every few years, he'd convince some poor soul to lend him their body. That's when he would come after me."

"'Come after?'" Dipper said. "When you say 'come after,' you mean-"

Ford nodded. "He got pretty close, too. And now, thanks to you," Ford inclined his head at Dean's gaping, outraged expression. "He's found pretty much the ideal vessel with which to do it."

"Do what?" Mabel asked, her eyes as round as saucers. "Do you mean Bill wants to kill you?"

"Yes," said Ford. "I was able to stop him in the past due to... mistakes he made with the bodies he was possessing. He was careless. But now... I'm not sure whether my knowledge is sufficient anymore."

"Well, do you at least know a way to get that thing out of my brother's body?" said Dean. He was beginning to grow impatient, and he paced back and forth as he spoke. "I mean, you're the scholar guy, right? Dipper said you knew everything."

Dipper blushed even brighter. "Well I didn't exactly say that.."

"I have some ideas," interjected Stanford, swiveling in his chair to examine some papers Dipper had brought him. "But I've never seen a possession be successfully reversed without serious damage being done to the body."

"Sam can take it," Dean said automatically. "We've handled much worse, trust me."

Ford nodded, though he still looked skeptical. "If you're sure, then here's what we need to do: Dipper and Dean, you will follow Cipher wherever he went and try to subdue him. Mabel and I will stay here in case he comes back. Once we have him, we'll need to-" he glanced at Dipper and Mabel, and Dean quickly understood his hesitation. "Well, we can get to that later. We're losing time."

Stanford, Dipper and Mabel stood up, and Ford and Mabel left the lab, and Dean could hear Mabel chattering excitedly about their "mission." He silently thanked Stanford for taking Mabel out of the situation as he turned to see Dipper's overexcited, slightly terrified face.

"You ready, kid?" Dean asked him.

"Yep!" Dipper nodded emphatically and wiped his forehead. "Yeah! Let's do this!"

Dean sighed. "Alright, then," he said. "Let's go get my brother's body back."

\---


	6. The Woods, Again

Mabel was in the living room about an hour later, trying not to think about the fact that her brother got to have the time of his life on a crazy adventure while she was stuck at the shack with Great Uncle Ford- who, frankly, creeped her out more than she cared to admit. He was in the basement again now, after making sure she stayed put in the living room. Mabel felt like she was being put in a time-out. She rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

"Bill's never gonna come back here," she muttered, folding her arms. "Not while he doesn't have any weapons or anything. This is pretty useless."

The curtains shifted in agreement. Mabel sat up, frowning.

There was no wind in the room.

"Hello?" she called. "Are you some kind of poltergeist or something? Shift the curtains left for yes and right for no."

As if by some unseen hand, the curtains swayed to the right.

"Whoa," whispered Mabel. "Some kind of ghost! Wait!" She frowned. "A ghost... Sam, is that you?"

Barely visible, the curtains swung to the left.

"Oh my gosh, you're okay!" Mabel cried. Suddenly an idea struck her and she leapt to her feet, her eyes lighting up. "Wait! Hold on! I'm gonna get you a body!"

Mabel dashed to her room and rummaged under her bed, grabbing a pair of googly eyes, some thread, a scrap of plaid fabric that she thought had once belonged to Wendy, and a sock that was definitely Dipper's. She hurried downstairs, pausing only to shout breathlessly "Hi Grunkle Stan bye Grunkle Stan!" as she raced past him to get scissors from the kitchen and return to the living room. Stan merely shrugged and wandered upstairs.

"Just you wait, Sam Winchester," Mabel said, spreading her supplies on the carpet. "I'm gonna make you such a great body you won't even want yours back! Well..." She giggled. "I hope you want it back...it is pretty nice."

The curtains shivered in response.

In barely ten minutes Mabel had thrown together a decent likeness of Sam, and was glueing on the finishing touches when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Great Uncle Ford!" she said, feeling nervous despite herself. "Guess what? I found a way to give Sam a temporary body!"

"What?" Ford fully entered the room and knelt down beside Mabel. "A temporary body? Like some kind of surrogate?"

"Yeah, sure!" said Mabel, examining her handiwork. "It was kind of Dipper's idea, actually. See, I had made a bunch of sock puppets for this guy I liked and Dipper accidentally gave his body to Bill and so he-"

"Wait," Ford cut her off, his expression grave. "You've encountered Cipher before?"

"Sure we have!" Mabel said, a bit taken aback. "One time, he tried to get into Grunkle Stan's mind! That was some crazy stuff. And then there was the whole possession thing, but we were able to get Bill out. I kind of had to beat up Dipper though..."

"Interesting," said Stanford, and Mabel didn't like the look he had in his eye. "So now you're building a puppet for the soul that Cipher displaced."

"Yeah," Mabel held up the puppet and grinned proudly. "And his name is Sam, by the way. All right, Sam!" she called, knowing he was still in the room. "This baby's ready for you to take the wheel!"

Nothing happened for a moment. Ford glanced at Mabel skeptically, but Mabel kept her grip on the puppet, glaring around the room as if she could catch a glimpse of Sam's ghostly figure somewhere. Then, the puppet seemed to gain form in her hand and it pulled away, hovering in the air.

"Well," the puppet said in what was unmistakably Sam's voice. "This is new."

"How do you like it?" asked Mabel, barely able to contain her excitement. "Did I capture your masculine aura in sock form?"

"Sure," Sam seemed to be glancing around experimentally at his new "body."

Stanford was fascinated. He leaned in close to the hovering puppet, narrowing his eyes.

"I've never seen anything like this before," he said. "It's remarkable!"

Mabel beamed, and for a moment everything was quiet as she basked in the pride of her craftsmanship. But then the worried voice of Sam broke the silence.

"Mabel," he said. "Where's Dean? And Dipper?" The urgency was somewhat lost on his puppet features, but his tone made up for the fact. "Who is that? What's going on?"

"That's my Great Uncle Ford," Mabel replied, gesturing to Stanford. "And Dipper and Dean went out to catch Bill before he-"

"...before he tries to kill Stanford," Sam finished. "Bill told me all about that. And what're they gonna do with him once they have him?"

"That's something that can be discussed later," said Stanford gruffly, standing up with a groan. "I'll be down in my lab, Mabel. Don't forget to let me know if anything happens."

Mabel sighed and nodded. "Sure, Great Uncle Ford," she said. When he was gone she lay down on her back again and huffed. "Not like anything's gonna happen anyways."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked. Mabel rolled over to look at him.

"Great Uncle Ford thinks I can't do anything and he just wants to play in his stupid lab all day so he left me here while Dipper gets to go and catch Bill!" she said, leaning her cheeks on her hands in annoyance. "It's just so not cool. And I was the one that defeated Bill and got him out of Dipper’s body last time! I bet Great Uncle Ford just thinks I'm stupid like how he thinks about Grunkle Stan."

Sam wasn't quite sure how to comfort Mabel, considering that at the moment he was a sock, but he tried to at least come up with some reassuring words.

"You helped me, didn't you?" he said. "I mean, I'd still be invisible and alone if it wasn't for you." Mabel smiled slightly despite herself. "And besides," Sam imagined that he might have smiled as he said this if he had had his own body. "I don't think you want to be out there with Dean. He puts up a pretty quick pace when he wants something over with."

Mabel laughed. "Dipper must love that," she said, her eyes glazed over as she imagined the scene. "He's not exactly the most athletic guy out there…"

\---

"Come on," Dean hissed, struggling to keep his frustration at bay. "We'll never find him if we never go faster than a snail with heart issues!”

"I'm... sorry," Dipper panted, stumbling over a branch. "This isn't... exactly... what- what I'm used to."

"No sh- no kidding."

Dean and Dipper were in the woods, following the trail that Bill had taken. They weren't quite sure where he was going, and whether they were following in the right direction, but Dipper had a hunch that Cipher was headed for the town, and Dean decided that it was as good an idea as any. But while Dean moved quickly and quietly, barely rustling any leaves or snapping any twigs, Dipper lagged behind, crashing through the undergrowth and panting.

"Sorry," Dipper said again, clutching his chest. But despite the fact that he looked as if he might pass out, he continued to try and match Dean's pace.

Dean sighed in grudging admiration. "It's okay, kid," he said. He had his gun raised, though he was not quite sure why- it wasn't like he was going to shoot at Sam's body. He just didn't want to risk it. Eventually he just admitted to himself that the gun was just for his own sense of security. "Let's just keep going."

Dipper nodded. The two continued on in silence, save for the rustle of the forest and Dipper's heavy breathing. But then, far off in the distance, there was a loud noise followed by unmistakable laughter.

Dean and Dipper looked at each other, both unconsciously doubling their pace. They ran in the direction of the sound, not needing or bothering to communicate with each other. They had the same intentions. 

They were just beginning to see a black form in the distance, on the edge of the treeline, when Dipper tripped on a large rock and fell. He lay on his stomach, coughing for a moment. Dean stopped to help him up, but Dipper waved his hand away.

"I'm good, I'm good," he breathed. "Just gonna take a little rest here..." He leaned on his side. "Yep, I can get up any time I want..."

Dean nodded. "If you say so," he said, turning around. He hissed in surprise. "Jesus Christ, you really sneak up on a guy!"

"Hey, it's not my fault Pine Tree's such a klutz!" Cipher was leaning on a tree not ten feet from them, his smirk stretching Sam's face. "It just gives me time to catch up with you guys!"

"But we were the ones chasing you!" Dipper gasped. He seemed to have regained his breath, and got up to stand beside Dean. "We're not gonna let you kill Ford!"

"Yeah, like you can do anything to stop me!" Bill narrowed his eyes. "You think you can take me down in this body, Dipper? You couldn't even defeat me when you had all the power of the mindscape!"

"You're forgetting someone, you Illuminati freak," Dean snapped, pointing his gun at Sam's forehead. "And I don't think I'll be as much of a cakewalk as the twelve-year-old."

Cipher laughed, ignoring Dipper's murmured protest of "Almost thirteen..."

"You can talk all you want, Deanie, but don't forget who got me this sweet deal!" he said, advancing until the barrel of the gun was touching his forehead. Dipper stepped back, but Dean held his ground. "You want ol' Sixer to make it out of this?" Cipher grinned, his eyes on the gun. "There's only one way for that to happen, and we're both looking at it."

"I don't give a damn about some dusty nerd and his mysteries," Dean growled. "I'm here for my brother's body, and then we're done." He lowered the gun, disarming it.

Then, for the second time that day, he punched Bill square in Sam's nose.

Cipher staggered backwards and dropped to one knee, the grin still on his face.

"That was rough, kid!" he spat through the blood dripping from his nose. "I haven't been hit that hard since I tried to pass through a black hole! Lemme tell you, all that compression of time and space really packs a punch!"

Dean kicked at Sam's stomach, causing Cipher to double over onto the ground.

"Boy, this body really is top notch, isn't it?" he continued. "That almost hurt!"

"Shut up, please," Dean sighed. "Getting your ass beaten doesn't mean you get to be even more chatty."

"Who said anything about being beaten?" Cipher said, propping himself up on his arm. "You can destroy Sam all you want, but I'm still kickin' around in here! You'll have to do a little more than that to stop someone made of energy!" As he finished speaking, Bill launched himself at Dean and tackled him to the ground.

"You may be attractive, Deanie, but you're just a-" Abruptly Bill stopped talking and slumped to one side, Sam's eyes glazed over. Dean sat up to see Dipper standing over Sam's unconscious body with the rock he had tripped over in his hands.

"Thanks," Dean said, getting to his feet. "That was getting really annoying."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Trust me, I know what it's like to have that guy constantly going on about how useless you are. It gets old."

Dean dusted himself off and pulled one of Sam's arms over his shoulders. "Let's get the psycho back to your uncle's lab."

As they walked, Dipper looked up at Dean, seeming almost afraid. "Is it true what you said to him?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets awkwardly. "That you don't care about Great Uncle Ford?"

"Listen," Dean said, trying to sound as comforting as he could. He was beginning to appreciate Dipper, despite his creepy first impression. "I wouldn't let Bill get to your uncle, I promise. But my priority's my family, and yours is your own, you know? This guy's all I've got." He patted Sam's back. It felt a little strange, considering who was currently inhabiting his brother.

Dipper nodded. He was about to respond when Dean dropped Sam's body with a shocked -and slightly exasperated- cry.

"How touching," Bill's voice was muffled and slowed, but it was still him. "You guys are so cute together!"

"You're still here?" Dipper said, his frustration obvious. "I thought I knocked you out!"

"It's like I told you," Cipher said, and even though Sam's mouth was slack they could hear his smirk in his voice. "You may defeat Sam's body, but I'm still the same as ever! I'm practically a universal constant! Not even the Stan-Vac can get me out!"

"Great," Dean sighed. "I hope your uncle knows what he's doing, Dipper, because I don't know how much more of this I can take."


	7. The Lab

"They're here! Great Uncle Ford, they're here!" Mabel hurried from her place by the front window, dashing through the house with Sam frantically trying to keep up, though the air she displaced kept him bobbing like a cork. "They've got him!"

Stanford was by Mabel's side in an instant, his face hard and cold. "Good," he said. Then he turned to Mabel. "When they come inside, you and Dipper should go upstairs. There are some things that we have to do that I don't want you to be a part of."

Mabel was about to protest when the door opened and Dean and Dipper trudged inside, carrying Sam's inert but chuckling body between them. They dropped him at Ford's feet, and Ford stared down at him in disgust.

"Cipher," he said. "You never know when to quit, do you?"

"Stanford Pines! You have no idea how glad I am to see you!" Bill said. "Did you hear there was some loser pretending to be you? Crazy stuff, right?"

While Cipher continued to taunt Ford, Mabel stood next to Dean and tugged on his sleeve.

"Hey," she said. "I've got something I wanna show you."

"What?" Dean sighed. "Is it a bedazzled stake or something?"

"Nope!" Mabel could barely contain her excitement. "Meet Sock Sam! Or, as I like to call him, Samsock!" She blushed. "I'm still working on the name."

"This is pretty weird, right?" Sam hovered into view alongside Mabel, and Dean stumbled backwards in shock.

"The fuck is that?" he hissed.

"Dean, it's me!" Sam said, attempting to gesture to himself but only succeeding in flailing his yarn arms wildly.

"Sam?" Dean's eyes widened. "Why the hell are you a sock?"

"Mabel made this vessel for me so I can communicate with you," Sam said. Mabel beamed.

"That's really, really weird," Dean muttered, looking back to Ford and Bill. "Good for you, I guess, but it's still weird."

As Mabel turned to Dipper to update him on what had transpired at the shack, Ford gestured to Dean and Sam. They both hurried over to him.

"We need to get Cipher to my lab," he said in hushed tones. "Quickly, before Mabel and Dipper notice. We cannot allow them to participate in what we have to do."

"And what is it that you're going to do?" Sam asked.

Stanford sighed. "The only way to get a demon-"

"Not a demon, technically," Dean interjected. ("Just let it go," Sam muttered.)

"In my experience," Ford said, talking over Dean. "The only way to get a demon out of a possessed body is to drive it out. By force."

Sam looked up at Stanford. "So you mean-"

Ford nodded gravely. Dean took a deep breath.

"I'll distract the twins," Sam said into the sudden silence. "You do- whatever you have to. I'll deal with it later. Besides, I really don't wanna have to see it."

"Understood," said Ford. Sam floated over to join Dipper and Mabel in their conversation.

"Weird," Dean muttered. Then he hoisted Sam's arm over his shoulder, glancing at the real Sam who was ushering Dipper and Mabel out of the room. Stanford took Sam's other arm, and together they dragged him towards the secret lab entrance. Ford punched in the code and together they descended in the elevator to the bottom floor.

Halfway to the lab, Sam's body regained consciousness.

Dean felt Cipher stir and immediately slammed him face-first against the wall, twisting Sam's arm behind his back.

"Don't even think about it," he growled. "It's our turn. We talk, we decide what happens next." Bill grinned.

"Yeesh, so angry, Dean! Does controlling things make you feel less like your life is spiraling out of yo-" He broke off with a strained laugh when Dean only twisted his arm harder.

"I'll break your goddamned shoulder, I swear," he hissed. "Sam's handled much worse than that, so I won't really feel any moral conflict about pulling this out of its socket." He pulled Sam's body off of the wall and continued to force him down the hallway. Ford drew what seemed to Dean like some type of ray gun and pointed it at the back of Sam's head.

"Hey, easy with that thing," Dean said in a low voice. "That's my brother's body, remember?"

"You've gotta keep an eye on him, Deanie!" Cipher called. "He's never had any problems with throwing his own family under the bus, so what makes you think he'll care about poor old Sammy?"

"You shut up," Dean snapped.

Bill shrugged. "I'm just looking out for your brother!" he said. "And you seem like you need all the help you can get in that area!"

"Don't listen to him, Dean," Ford said, glaring at Cipher. "Your mind is susceptible to his manipulation."

"And what's that supposed to mean, Grandpa?" Dean asked, trying to keep his offended sarcasm to a minimum.

Ford was silent.

Cipher seemed beside himself. "You know, Glasses, I thought I was gonna have to do some serious manipulation to get you guys at each other's throats, but you seem to be doing a great job of it on your own!"

"I thought I told you to shut up," Dean hissed. They had reached the end of the hallway, and Stanford opened the password-protected titanium door. Inside was the lab, empty save for the swiveling chair Dipper had previously occupied and a length of rope.

"Awww, you've left me a housewarming present!" Bill said as Dean forced Sam's body into the chair. "You really do think of me, Stanford!"

"I can't get you out of my head, Cipher," Ford muttered dryly, binding Sam's arms and legs with a series of complicated knots. When he was finished he stepped back to admire his handiwork and then turned to Dean. "Shall we begin?"

Dean nodded, gritting his teeth. He tried not to look anywhere but Cipher's eyes- they were the only part that wasn't Sam.

"Come on, you heard the nerd," Bill met Dean's glare with eyes that never blinked. "Isn't the only time you're ever useful when you're punching thi-"

Dean kicked Cipher in the center of Sam's chest, sending him and the chair keeling backwards. Sam's body hit the ground with a thud that knocked the breath from his lungs. For a moment, he didn't even have enough air to laugh. Then finally there was a wheezing cough from the body on the floor.

"Oof!" Bill inhaled deeply and coughed again. "So that's what it feels like to have lungs!" He chuckled and took another experimental breath. "Boy, does that sting!"

Dean didn't respond to Cipher's display. He merely gripped the ropes that bound Sam's chest and pulled Bill upright by them. Bill coughed again, twisting Sam's body to one side. Ford and Dean winced as the movement caused an unnatural popping sound.

"Gee, Deanie, I think you cracked a rib there!" Bill said, and for the first time he didn't seem entirely amused by the situation.

"That was the idea, pal," Dean replied shortly. "And I've got a feeling that eventually you'll crack, too."


End file.
